Hierei Kissios' Commonplace Book

What is a Commonplace Book?

A commonplace book is a book (usually physical, but I digress) to collect information from other sources - be they quotes, lyrics, snippets of books or poems - or in the terms of a digital one, links and images and videos that capture the mind. The digital age has given us a wonderful way to keep memories and thoughts!

This page is meant to be searched (CTRL+F) using keywords we remember. It may contain NSFW or otherwise insensitive content. It will also contain stream-of-consciousness journalling from time to time. It's also a good place for us to put things before we have a proper webpage for them!

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"Journaling for Joy" by Joyce Chapman

(p.22-23)

Wonderful learning can come from recording the activities and thoughts and events of one single day:

  1. Want to become more positive? Log your negative thoughts and words for a day. Then write what your learning is from what you have observed.
  2. Log your accomplishments for a week, and then write a Feedback Statement.
  3. Keep a log of your frustrations during a day at the office or at home. Then write what you can learn from what you have written.
  4. Want to learn to communicate more effectively? Keep a log of your communications for a day, and then write yourself a Feedback Statement.
  5. What's bugging you? Keep a log for a day, and then write your conclusions and recommendations to yourself.
  6. Your body is acting up again? Keep a record of your symptoms for a day or a week, noting alongside each what else was going on in your life at that time. At the end, write what learning is available from this record. Then keep another log: of times your body feels wonderful!
  7. Keep a record of your loving encounters for a day or two: what message comes through your writing?
  8. Want to learn to be more assertive? Keep a log of your interactions for a day. Ask yourself, “Did I say what I felt, wanted, needed? Or did I say, ‘What’s the use?’ or ‘Who cares.’ What difference does it make?”
  9. Low self-esteem? Keep a log for a day of thoughts and interactions that raised and lowered your self-esteem. What is the learning there?
  10. Is self awareness an issue for you? Keep a log for a day of your state of energy, moment to moment. Write a Feedback Statement. about what your observations say to you.
  11. Keep a log of your feelings for a day. What do you conclude? Write about your learning. If there is a feeling you want to increase in your life, keep a log of the times you experience this feeling. Is your life too bland? Keep a log of times you experience passion. Summarize your conclusions.

If you want to find out what’s going on in your life that causes you so much conflict, keep a conflict log. Were you criticized? Did someone take something you wanted? Were you unable to do what you wanted? Were you unappreciated? List these incidents, what the issue was, who was involved, and what you wanted. When conflicts persist, they can turn into complaining, gossip, and symptoms of physical illness. Your conflict log will lead you to root out the causes of conflict. When you keep this log, action will follow to resolve the problem.

(p.44)

The problem she created for herself was that the more she pretended to be invisible, the more she progressively became more and more invisible. As she got older, she found that no one noticed what her needs were, and she had never developed very good skills at expressing them. Even when events came up that were important in her life, no one noticed. ... Throughout her childhood and young adult years, no one noticed that Lily too wanted recognition. She had never asked for it. How could she? ...
Feedback: No wonder I have a fear of no one showing up at my parties! Stop pretending you have no needs, and start asking. People would probably feel good about being able to give to you!

(p.45)

Look at yourself as a small child. What would others say about you? What would your kindergarten teacher say? How about each grandparent, your mother, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, coach, next-door neighbor?

When you were a child, whose primary influence shaped you? Does one person come to mind? How many others can you recall? What new dimensions are there to discover? ... A good place to begin is by making a list: People Who Participated in My Childhood Story.

(p.49)

This is a wonderful opportunity for you to stretch back into your memory. Remember the first time you tasted ice cream. Recall a childhood friend with whom you played—what were your favorite games? Did you like to pretend? Was there a relative with whom you shared special times?

Another journaler returned to the hectic, but happy times of her early married life for insight into what was missing and what she needed more of in her life today.

(p.56-58)

In some of my classes, we do an exercise in which we write a list every day for a year titled Who Am I? The writing changes from day to day and over time provides an unfolding self-portrait that is powerfully revealing.

Write as many ways of defining and explaining yourself as you can think of. This is a great way to strengthen your sense of self. It forces you to be congruent when you start honing in on a clear definition of who you are and writing it down. This can be followed with a second list, Who Do I Want to Be?, with a Feedback Statement comparing the two lists and concluding what action or changes they suggest.

There is power in knowing your own mind. I once taught a course called "Your Life Is Your Choice" in which each session opened with an exercise of writing a What I Want list without editing, ranking or prioritizing.

What I have experienced is that a person who identifies what they want and is willing to commit to the action to get it, is also one who is reaching for their full potential. Making a list ... plants the seed and the subsequent action follows it through.

What I also have found is that when people delve deeply enough into what they want, they find it’s not, ultimately, about power, riches and fame. What they really want is love, fulfillment and self-expression.

(p.62-64)

What do you believe? Start with the most basic areas of your life. What do I believe about... my family, friendships, health, relationships, money, higher power? Out of that journaling, an abundance of stored information from which to examine your beliefs will unfold. ... Look at your old beliefs to see which ones were yours that you no longer need or want, or more importantly, which ones are the beliefs someone else gave you that you no longer believe.

As you become clear about what you believe, you get in touch with the passion of living. When you live from the conviction of your beliefs, then your actions and words take on power and authority.

Your beliefs develop by first being identified, then questioned, tested, changed, refined, or reaffirmed. What do you believe about how you got here? What do you believe about right and wrong? What do you believe is important in life? What do you value? What do you believe about the meaning of life? What do you believe about the nature of the universe? About nature? About childhood? About politics? About God? About the age we live in? What is your purpose in life?

You might want to be more specific in listing your beliefs, according to the issues you are dealing with in your life right now. You might want to list your beliefs about growing old, death, marriage, sexuality, war, parenting, children, education, religion, politics, or bosses.

As a follow-up later, I often recommend going back over the list of beliefs and crossing out any that no longer fit who you are today. Once you have made your own list of beliefs, ... try writing on the subject: What are ... life events that have influenced and formed each of my beliefs?

[coleus; a list of fears. the book goes over this, and how identifying and tackling them was beneficial. i believe even getting them out and on the page would prove useful.]

(p.70-71)

[coleus; chapter 5 'creative conversations' is very interesting as a plural person. it walks you through talking and having a dialogue with yourself. your true self, higher potential, child self, ect. since our personhoods are so separate (compared to the average person) i find it... very fascinating that we do this all the time. sometimes it's helpful. a lot of the time, actually. yet sometimes it's not. it's discomforting. i suppose there's something to learn, regardless. maybe we should write down/record our conversations more.]

[Katya; I think it's also important to note the other use-case for this method it outlines: Being able to have a conversation with someone else who you either cannot safely engage (like an abusive parent) or someone you can't talk to anymore (a friend or loved one who has passed). The back and forth, the dialogue - it helps us see things (or at least, lends us to think about things) from another lens.
I remember writing a lot of pieces with Hierei as well as Lari'than and Duraeyan that were either monological in nature that went back and forth or dialogical that genuinely helped me think through a situation, so I absolutely give creedance to this method, as insane as it might feel at first. It might help someone else to separate themselves from the subject (even if that subject is you) through the use of similar characters - or even "What would X Character Do?" - or even a dialogue between yourself and said character.
The key part, I think, is getting it out through putting it down and out of the head. There's a lot of release that comes from that.]

What brings me joy?

"The Gifted Kids Workbook" by Heather Boorman

(p.)

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